It's The Thought That Counts
by Soncnica
Summary: ...even if it hurts.


**This is my birthday gift from me to everyone who'll read this. Nothing belongs to me, but my birthday and the mistakes. **

**Enjoy.**

**---------**

A wicked grin and a smack on the back of his head was all Sam needed to know that Dean was up to no good, when he slowly padded towards the bathroom.

-:-

"Dean you asshole. You used all the hot water. Jerk."

"Stop bitching and let's go. I'm starving."

-:-

"I'll have pancakes and sausage and coffee and some pie," he turned to Sam's disgusted face, "need me some pie." He smirked to Sam and then to the waitress.

"Sure, Dean." _What was up with him this morning? _

First he used all the hot water, then he ate, well, will eat the whole diner, the car ride here was all singing and just peachy and the creature is still out there.

-:-

Watching Dean stuff his face with pancakes was fun, because he got syrup on his shirt, watching Dean stuff his face with sausages and coffee was plain disgusting, the grease flowing down his chin, watching Dean eat pie was like watching a child eat cake with his fingers.

"Done now, Dean?"

He patted his stomach with his hand and leaned back on the seat. He brought his other hand to his face to wipe off any food leftovers trying to stay for lunch.

"Yep, I'm good to go." he stood up and went out the door, leaving Sam confused and wide eyed.

-:-

The car ride to the woods was too noisy in Sam's mind. He was trying to distract himself from Dean's constant singing off key, but nothing was working. Nothing. Pretending to be asleep, talking, offering Dean M&M's to shut him up, nothing worked.

Music is fun, really it is, but your brother singing to every word is just wrong. Especially if it's abnormally out off tune.

"What's your problem, man?"

"What?

"You've been like this the whole morning."

"Yeah, so?" and a raised eyebrow.

_Sammy you forgot?_ was a thought that pinched Deans heart.

"It's not like you to be…"

"…what? Happy?"

"I didn't mean it like that." he looked back to the trees flowing along the road.

"It doesn't matter," there was pain in that voice, Sam noticed, "let's just go and kill this sucker, what do you say, huh?"

A big smile greeted Sam's eyes when he looked in Deans direction.

-:-

Killing the creature wasn't a big deal. Nothing extraordinary happened, it just died. Well it had a little help in that department, with Dean's gun shooting at it and all. But it did die. Eventually.

-:-

"That was easy." Deans voice reached Sam's ears.

"Yes it was."

"So? Ready for dinner?"

"And where was lunch?"

"The hunt was lunch, now I want dinner, then we're going out."

"Huh?" Sam was bewildered to put it lightly.

"It's almost five o'clock and I need something concrete to eat before we go out and make us some money. And you know, get laid."

"You're impossible, Dean."

_Sammy, God you did forget. I never thought you would._

"Yes, yes I am."

Sam smiled a big smile and looked out the window.

_Made you smile._

-:-

Dinner was composed of sausages, different then the ones at breakfast, bread, cheese, hamburgers, french-fries, coffee, beer and a lot of ketchup. If breakfast was disgusting, dinner was just repulsive. Sam gagged a few times, but made no comment. If Dean wants to eat like a pig and end up in an early grave so be it.

"So, hmm, you finished?" were the words that accompanied Deans belch, when Sam was finally able to make some sort of words not vomiting in the process.

"This was good," showing at the empty plate, "but I really could go for some pie."

"You ate pie this morning."

"Yeah, so?"

"I…"

"'S there a rule that a guy can't have pie twice a day?"

"No…"

"Well then, no need to argue, now is there?"

"No." silent defeat.

_Sammy come on you know why I need pie._

-:-

"So are you coming?"

Dean was standing at the door, his hand on the door knob slowly twisting it and looking at the table where Sam sat and tapped on his computer.

"No, I'll just try and find us a new case. I'll be fine."

_Sure, Sammy, you will be. I won't._

"Are you sure?"

"Yes I'm sure." his eyes were on the screen, lightly illuminated with the light emanating from it.

"I can stay here if you want."

_Say I can stay. I'll stay._

"No, we need the cash. Just don't drink too much, 'kay?"

_Sammy you forgot._

"Sure." he swallowed the big knot in his throat and opened the door.

The only thing that remained of Dean's presence was the loud click of the door.

-:-

Outside, Dean slid his hand over the hood of his car.

"You didn't forget, did you baby?"

He got in and started the car. His ears filled with the low rumble of the engine.

"No you didn't."

He drove away.

-:-

The bar was loud, smoky and full of people. Talking, laughing, drinking, having fun, playing, dancing, smoking, screaming, singing, eating.

One beer and a few pool games later, the only thought in his mind was_ 'Sam forgot'_. And his heart shattered and his eyes stung.

Grabbing his jacket, he walked out of the bar. Another unknown bar, he'll never ever enter again. No harm done.

-:-

_Sam forgot, Sam forgot, Sam forgot, Sam forgot, Sam forgot_...

Two words that hurt so bad, it was becoming impossible to breathe. They crawled beneath his skin, immobilizing any other sensation.

The night gave him no answers, no soothing motions, all he got was the Impala hitting a pebble.

"Sorry." a whispered apology to his baby.

"Sam forgot you know? I mean it's really no big deal but I, ah, I don't know why this is getting to me." the darkness of the car accompanied with the rumble of the engine was sort of soothing. It would be nicer if Sam remembered though. Dean smiled. Laughed really. It doesn't matter if Sam remembered or not. As long as they're both alive and healthy, everything's fine.

_But Sam forgot. That jerk._

-:-

Pulling the key out of the car, he tapped his baby's steering wheel one last time.

"Time to go to sleep."

-:-

The room was dark. Faded lights from the parking lot were making their way through the curtain but they weren't strong enough to brighten the room.

He stumbled to his bed and dropped down on the covers. Boots off, jacket off, shirt off, jeans unzipped and unbuttoned, T-shirt on and he slipped under the covers.

Laying on his belly, he slid his hand under the pillow. Like so many times before.

One uneven breath from Dean made Sam know.

"Happy Birthday, Dean."

The whisper of Sam's voice in the darkness of the room, among the only two words lingering in Deans head made him jump a little. But he didn't show it.

His hand griped a small object lying next to his trusty knife, no edges, just one small round object with a little bulb on top. Plastic and glass. A small hitch in Deans breath made Sam continue speaking from his bed a few steps over.

"It was Dad's."

Dean wanted to say 'I know', but the knot in his throat prevented him to speak. Only breathing was allowed.

Sam knew what Dean was thinking, knew that Dean knew the object, knew what it meant to Dean, knew there were no explanations necessary.

_It's the compass Dad had on his Impala keys, before he handed them to me._

"I found it in Dad's truck."

Dean nodded, unable to find the right words. A part of him hopped Sam saw or heard the action, but a part of him just wanted to run away with the compass. At least he wouldn't get lost.

He smiled unconsciously and those two words that haunted him were gone. Replaced with _Sam remembered, Sam remembered, Sam remembered, Sam remembered_...

Dean gripped the compass tighter, stronger, never mind the knife, never mind the quick breaths shaking his body.

_Dad's compass, _breathe in_, Sam remembered, _breathe out_, Dad's compass,_breathe in_, Sam remembered, _breathe out...

He slowly smoothed his fingers over the glassy bulb, closing his eyes and seeing the compass hanging on a keyring Dad put into the ignition to start the familiar noise of the Impala.

He cleared his throat and turned his head towards Sam's bed.

"Thanks Sammy."

A long silence between them was starting to kill Dean. One lonely tear made its way down his cheek, pooling somewhere in his ear and making its way to the pillow.

"'S alright." were the last words spoken from Sam's side until morning, thus leaving Dean alone.

_Dad's compass, _breathe in_, Sam remembered, _breathe out_, Dad's compass,_breathe in_, Sam remembered, _breathe out...


End file.
